Elephant in the Room (and Crocodiles)
They're the elephant in the room, where relations between transwomen and men are concerned.
Elephant, you say? Well, almost without exception, the assertion is made that the men who like transwomen are straight. Yet when you talk to transwomen in private, a very different picture appears. Half at least of men who seek out transwomen far from being straight or anything close, are closet autogynephiliacs (AGP) (and homophobic to boot). They're not homosexual, but they are gay.
This is borne out by research done at Northwestern University by Ken Hsu et alia.
https://youtu.be/s0kqobQRcUo
We would not expect honesty from these men about this; after all, look at the lengths they go just to deny their own sexuality and maintain a false façade of hetero-normativity. The elephant must be hidden. Their words may be taken with a moderately-sized bucket of salt. But what about the girls? Why do transwomen ever lend credibility to this falsehood? Why don't they just call out these guys
The number of guys I have dated who only real interest with a transgender is to have “…his arse rogered till his liver squeals …” is just too true. Unfortunately, (or fortunately), as soon as I start to switch to this male mode my sexual desire just dies … so does the date. I have learnt to spot these guys and avoid them – most times. However sometimes I know before I go out with a guy this will probably be the case but my own desire to be with and have sex with a hot looking guy overrides my own common sense.
Hello Emily. I was clearly on a rant that day, but I stand by it. For transwomen like yourself, especially in the West, dating must be a nightmare. Stuck between maybe meeting a transphobic homicidal lunatic (who is probably a closet homosexual with homophobia) and the fact that so many men who date TS women are not actually looking for women at all, just a stiff tool between the cheeks. I am trying to educate people but you have no idea how difficult it is; the barrage of lies and misinformation put up by ‘clone’ gays (oh we’re manly manly men, so manly the manliness is just dripping off our manly arses, even when they’re in the air — yes, of course you are, petal) and on the other hand autogynephiles like Bruce ‘Caitlyn’ Jenner…I mean, what kind of straight guy is gonna be attracted? But of course, he retains his comfortable male heteronormative desire for women, and calls it ‘lesbianism’ — despite the fact that to be a lesbian you have to be a woman. (I wonder: do these guys ask their wives before they tell them they’re going to have to turn into lesbians? Oh, silly me, they’re patriarchal males, they just do what they want and everybody has to do along with it.) I am going to do a post about the way autogynephiles routinely abuse, erase and colonise true, androphilic Blanchard HSTS transsexuals, whatever.
It’s an uphill struggle and the people you might think would be on your side are not. Gay men hate transwomen viscerally for living the dream they would love to but have been conditioned not to and autogynephilic transgenders despise true transsexuals because they show them up for what they are. I spend 5 months of the year in Asia now, where at least things are relaxed and cool and everybody knows what the deal is: transwomen are women in every way except for the matter of their birth certificate. And nobody calls me names just for liking TS women and treating them like I treat other women.
As a (hopefully) amusing counter to your experiences with the kind of men we’re talking about, I once ended up in bed with a TS who is ‘top’, although I had no idea. (She’d met one of those guys and liked it, unusual I know.) Um, romantic desire evaporated and I had to spend the rest of the night, erm, keeping her off — fortunately she’s tiny but gosh was she persistent. We’re still friends but I avoid getting drunk with her now!
Anyway, please keep safe and be happy. That’s really important.