I’m at the local motorcycle repair shop where Sherwyn, a most competent mechanic and pleasant cove, is replacing a brake master cylinder on the Blaze. He first thought to replace only the seals, but he can’t find the right size. A new cylinder is 400 pesos, just under six quid, an unwell encephalopod. I just tell him to get on with it. Sherwyn works in the open space outside a motorcycle parts shop, where he seems to buy most of his stuff, although, as today, sometimes he has to go further afield. While I wait I sit on a wooden bench in the shade and observe the street life. Baklas soon begin to appear; it’s like they’re in the woodwork.
Christmas 1981: Europe is in turmoil, the Human League is top of the charts, it’s pissing stair-rods in Paris and Johnny Macmaster has just got back from Damascus with a load of smuggled blood diamonds he wants rid of fast.
The first book I completed, which nearly got lost but hey that’s another story.
Don’t you want me baby? Don’t you want me ohhh
Harry, the most notorious fence in Paris, offers Macmaster a special surprise: Hermann Goering’s gold-plated 9mm Luger, along with his Blue Max and a wad of cash. Johnny accepts the deal and goes back to the bar to pay his tab. He gets another surprise: a round from a suppressed Ruger .22. That’s when his world explodes. Calling on his ex-lover Irene, Johnny goes back to work. The plot line criss-crosses Paris to a spectacular climax.
This book contains scenes of violence and sex. Plenty of them.
A hilarious romantic comedy, by Rod Fleming, set in a tiny village in Scotland. Follow the adventures of the protagonists as the they fuddle their way through to a climactic finale.
Spring is coming to the village of Auchpinkie on the east coast of Scotland. With it, women’s minds turn to romance and men’s to something else — poaching. But it turns out these are actually very closely related. A charming romantic comedy set in a world full of larger-than life characters.
French Onion Soup! tells the story of a mad Scotsman (me) taking his family to live in France.
It’s full of hilarious anecdotes as well as lots of useful information that you’ll need if you are planning something similar. Most of all, perhaps, there is lots of humour…because moving to a different country will make you laugh or cry, and laughing is a lot more fun.
Brilliantly funny tales of the life of a mad Scotsman, his wife, children, two dogs and a cat, who escaped the rat-race to live their dream in a country house in France. In 1993, photographer, journalist and Francophile, Rod Fleming and his artist wife bought a house in France. French Onion Soup! is the first in a series of books describing their life in France.
Ladyboys are like hobbits; they have big feet. Although, and fortunately, not usually hairy.
My dearest and truest friend, my distant confidante and beloved adopted sister, Andie, is sitting on the brown vinyl sofa in my rented condo in Pasig. She has delicately hoisted the hem of her long floral skirt with one hand and with the other she is holding one of her slippers — flipflops in Filipino — against her leg.
‘Ugh,’ she says. ‘You see? My feet are longer than half the length of my shin.’
She drops the slipper and the hem and takes to regarding her feet with evident distaste, elbow on knee, chin cupped in her hand. She wiggles her toes.
‘I could possibly cut them off,’ she muses. ‘I should cut them off.’
On the tenth anniversary of completing the first draft of The Warm Pink Jelly Express Train, I am republishing this article about it. It describes an affair between a Brazilian transsexual prostitute and a Western straight man.
Poaching is essentially a romanticised memoir; Warm Pink is nothing like that. It is far deeper and more introspective and writing it, along with the later Why Men Made God, was what shaped my current world view.
My ideas about gender in particular were formed by the research and writing of Warm Pink. Although it is a breathlessly-paced romantic adventure, it required me to dig deep into the natures of gender and sexuality, something I had never done before.
An action-packed tale of love and life, humour and romance, played out by an unforgettable cast of characters with genuine Scots voices, Poaching the River will make you laugh and cry out loud.
It’s a quiet afternoon in Auchpinkie, a tiny fishing village on the east coast of Scotland, and in her Corner Shop, Mae and her cronies are setting the world to rights.
Suddenly a furniture van draws up outside one of the houses along the street. A beautiful young woman is moving into Etta Swankie’s old house. But no-it can’t be-that’s Rae, Etta’s daughter, and Etta always swore she’d disinherit her!
Over the next few days the action races to its riotous climax, as Big Sye, Rae’s cousin, poaches the River Pinkie in a daring adventure, the village public convenience is destroyed by a freak explosion, and the parish minister is baffled by the sudden religious conversion of two formerly heathenish young lads.
Behind it all a spider’s web of intrigue is woven, as the villagers conspire to get Big Sye and Rae together. But there are things going on that none of them ken, and secrets that only Rae’s old friend Izzie knows…
Print ISBN: 978-0-9554535-0-2
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The Children of Aldebaran is a fantasy adventure for younger readers set in a dystopian future when the time of the Big People is past and the world is ruled by the Animals.
Silas Farsight, a young otter who looks forward to a life as a lawyer in the forest village, is horrified one day when his cousin is kidnapped by a gang of ferocious cats. With the help of the badgers, the protectors of the Forest, and his indentured clerk Stoaty Cuttleworth, he sets off in pursuit of the captors.
His cousin, Magda, is being taken to the Dark City, where an evil beast known as the Great Cat has set up and is plotting imperial domination of the Free Animals. Silas and his companions must rescue her. Silas’ adventures lead him to contact the Sea Otters, a wild and mysterious, unpredictable and dangerous group, of who he knows only myth and legend.
Yet it is with them that he will find his own true destiny. A fast-paced and exciting fantasy adventure.
Fifty-Two of the Best: Highlights from Rod Fleming’s World
Fifty-Two articles from the popular site Rod Fleming’s World, covering Travel, Sex, Politics, Religion and Humour. A bumper bundle of fun and comment. The articles have been carefully chosen to remain fresh and the book is illustrated with original photographs and artwork. The ideal holiday read!
Print ISBN: 978-09572612-6-6
Buy the eBook! It’s on special offer, just pay however much you think it’s worth when you buy through my bookshop HERE: