Sex with a ladyboy – is it gay?

Originally posted 2017-03-21 21:33:39.

Okay. So, maybe you just woke up after a wild night, looked over the bed and there beside you, happily dreaming away without a care in the world and looking as though butter wouldn’t melt, was a ladyboy; or, if you prefer, a transsexual. Possibly you’re just considering doing this. Maybe you did already,  liked it, and are wondering about yourself. Maybe you’re in a relationship with a ladyboy and still confused. So I’m going to answer the question, ‘Am I gay for having sex with a ladyboy’?

This is a pretty popular question, as you’ll see from a casual Google of the terms, but almost none of the answers make any sense. They’re either written by people who have no experience of transsexuals, ladyboys, bonecas — call them as you will, they’re all the same — or they’re written by people with a hidden agenda, trying to promote a particular political point of view.

 

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Does homosexuality exist?

Originally posted 2020-10-07 15:41:04.

Does homosexuality exist, other than as a collection of sexual practices? How can it be seen as a separate sexuality at all? After all, sexuality admits only two roles, the male, or active, and the female or passive. In inter-male sex particularly, one party must play the female and the other the male role. This is axiomatic. So for the duration of the sexual encounter they are adopting conventional sex roles. Yes folks, one of them has to be a girl. On the other hand homosexuality, as understood today, implies attraction.  Are there really big strong masculine men out there who are attracted to other big strong masculine men? And if so, what happens to the recipient, when he is anally seduced? Can he remain a man? Impossible. He is performing female sexuality and so must himself be female. Which ever way you crack it, this egg devolves to the conventional sex roles of inserter and insertee.

I was set off down this line of thought by a recent throw-away comment by JK Rowling, the author, who said that ‘If there is no sex, then there is no same-sex attraction.’ Well, I ask again,  is there any such thing at all? And why should we get so exercised about it? The fact is that the currently dominant Western model, the New Gay Man, simply did not exist until around 1970 and still is restricted to the Anglo-Saxon West. Why is what might well be a passing phase — especially given that there are thousands, probably tens of thousands of years of historical record describing other forms of inter-male sex —  so revered? Why is ‘gay’ on a pedestal, untouchable and apparently above criticism?

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Gently but firmly: When does that become coercion?

gently but firmly

Originally posted 2022-09-19 18:44:56.

‘Gently but firmly’ is the manner in which parents of children manifesting sex non-conforming behaviour are adjured to make those children desist.

Professors J Michael Bailey and Ray Blanchard penned an open letter to the Fourth Wave Now website in 2017. It is as relevant today as it was then. In it they made many valuable points. The article is long but the most concerning part is here:

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If you want your childhood-onset gender dysphoric child to desist, and if your child is still well below the age of puberty (which varies, but let’s say, younger than 11 years), you should firmly (but kindly and patiently) insist that your child is a member of his/her birth sex…You should not allow your child to engage in behaviors such as cross dressing and fantasy play as the other sex. Above all else, you should not let your child socially transition to the other sex.

At the same time, you should recognize that despite your best efforts, your child may ultimately need to transition to be happy. If your child’s gender dysphoria persists well into adolescence (again, the ages vary by child, but let’s say age 14 or so), s/he is much more likely to transition. At that point, in our opinion, parents should consider supporting transition.
(my italics)

(I will put a copy of the original paper on my websites at https://www.rodfleming.com and https://

.com/sexology )

Bailey and Blanchard are both highly respected and here they are simply restating what we might call the ‘establishment position’. However, there are significant problems with the above statement and I will deal with these. I am aware that they do not use the phrase ‘gently but firmly’ here, but that is a reasonable rendering of the phrase they do use.

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The word ‘homosexual’.

Originally posted 2022-09-12 12:33:30.

What does the word ‘homosexual’ actually mean?

Over the last five years I have read deeply into the historical and modern context of the word ‘homosexual’ and how its usage evolved, from it being coined in the nineteenth century.

The word ‘homosexual’ as it is now understood in the West, was not so understood, anywhere, until the 20th century. It did not become general even there until after Kinsey published in the early 1950s, and was not dominant till much later. Whether you consider that sex between two males must be ‘homosexual’ or not, and I do not, that does not mean that either or both parties are themselves ‘homosexual’. One is an activity, the other is a personality type, formerly known as a ‘catamite’. Conflating these has been most unhelpful.

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Transgressive and Conservative gay: two models

transgressive-conservative gay

Originally posted 2019-01-18 04:57:31.

‘Gay’ is not an orientation or a preference, it is a lifestyle. In fact it is two lifestyles, transgressive and conservative. In the West, from its beginning in the 1950s, it has become strongly transgressive, after the ideals of homosexuals like Harry Hay, one of the founders.

substack

Hay was a card-carrying Communist Party member who finally realised that Communists hated homosexuals even more than mainstream society did; so his solution to destroying the culture he lived in was to organise and use homosexuality as a battering-ram. Naturally, he had learned how to do this from his Communist Party mentors. So right from its inception, the Western transgressive form was completely rooted in Communism and a desire to overthrow the status quo.

This is completely different from the situation outside the West, where gay lifestyles are usually conservative both socially and politically.

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Homosexual Types: Transgender, Narcissistic, Pederastic

pederasty

Originally posted 2018-12-24 10:15:44.

There are three types of gay men that can be identified relatively easily. There may be some overlap or admixture of types in specific individuals, but I believe that we can better understand male homosexuality through this Typology. These, together, constitute the New Gay Man, the modern homosexual male collective in the Anglo-Saxon West.

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Homosexual Transsexual vs Autogynephilic males

Originally posted 2017-08-29 18:01:06.

By Guest author

Much has made about the differences between autogynephilic transvestites (AGP) and homosexual transsexuals (HSTS). However, most of this work remains largely clinical and as such, it fails to connect to the sympathies of the public. An exception to this of course being J. Michael Bailey’s The Man who would be Queen, an almost pop-science interpretation of the data on transsexualism. Even this, despite being a nice read, is written from the perspective of a researcher. What I am getting at, if not already obvious, is that not much is written from the perspective of Homosexual Transsexual women.

I am a Homosexual Transsexual woman, and was invited by Rod to write a piece or two based on my experiences. I don’t usually get to share these with other people, and I thought this a good opportunity. I won’t get into much about my childhood — after you’ve heard a couple of Homosexual Transsexual’s childhood remembrances, you’ve pretty much heard them all — but I will give some basics.

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Narcissistic Homosexual; a Gay Snake Charmer

narcissistic homosexual snake charmer

Originally posted 2018-11-27 07:42:08.

It is often not realised that the male homosexual culture of the West is not homogeneous but instead a conglomeration of several personality types. One of these is the Sexual Invert, which we have discussed at length. Another, just as important but much less well-understood, is the Narcissistic Homosexual.

 

‘Sexual Inverts’ are either male with female sexuality or female with male sexuality. In other words, their sexuality is the inverse of what might be expected for their sex. They were described by Karl Ulrichs and Havelock Ellis amongst others. Since gender is the means by which we communicate our sexuality to others, male inverts desire to be feminine and females, masculine. The specific expression ranges from, in males, mildly camp to full social, hormonal and surgical transition, to True or homosexual transsexualism, HSTS. (It is a scale of variation.)  All male sexual inverts are naturally more or less feminised and all female sexual inverts are naturally the opposite. They often have real difficulty living in the gender their sex would suggest.

Theirs is not, however, the only form that male homosexuality can take.

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Wolf pack: analogy of male homosexuality

wolf-pack

Originally posted 2018-10-15 10:57:00.

Wolf pack social hierarchies give a useful insight into homosexual male society in the West, the New Gay Man culture.

The great myth of ‘gay sex’ is that it occurs between two big alpha males. In reality, usually what happens is that weaker, submissive males offer themselves for, or are simply coerced into, sex with an alpha male, to use the wolf-pack analogy.

Wolf packs contain both patriarchal and matriarchal hierarchies, which makes them even more interesting, but for now we’ll concentrate on the male, patriarchal side.

There is a phenomenon called ‘situational homosexuality’. In this, weaker males may sexually pair with stronger ones, if women are not present or available. One example of this is ‘prison sex’ which occurs in all-male prisons (we’re only discussing male homosexuality here. )

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Nature or Nurture: the debate

sexuality with rod fleming

Originally posted 2022-02-12 13:00:32.

The ‘nature or nurture’ debate has been central to the discussion of sexuality for over two hundred years. In brief, the nature school  believes that human behaviour is largely inherited, while nurturists believe it is the result of experiences in childhood, particularly in our interactions with our parents and siblings.

The nature or nurture argument over sexuality spreads out into other areas of thought. So let’s examine it.

substackWhat does ‘nature or nurture’ mean?

The nature school is sometimes called ‘Essentialism’. It is fundamental to the Christian concept of Original Sin, which insists that we are not sinners by choice or because of our background, but because we are human. Our nature is that of sinner and Christ came to absolve us of this. That is how is possible for a newborn infant to be a sinner, in the eyes of Christians, even if she has done nothing other than suck her mother’s tit; sin is innate to being human. However, human nature, so hated by the Constructionists, is not seen as a flaw by the nature school but rather the source of our strength. It is what binds us together and makes us human, for better or worse.

nature or nurture
Nature or nurture. How likely is it that this girl is as she is because of her childhood environment?

Nurturism is sometimes called the ‘blank slate’ or tabula rasa. It was present in the thinking of men like Rousseau, an eighteenth-century philosopher whose thinking gave rise to many of the social movements we know today. It is also central to Marxist dogma, for example. In many ways it is a  development of the idea of individual autonomy, which informed the cultural revolution of the era and gave us the Enlightenment. Nothing is written and we are all able to shape every detail of our lives independently of the past. Today it is commonly known as ‘Constructionism’.

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