Originally posted 2021-03-12 17:32:31.
What is gender? Sabia Bia is one of my YouTube Channel commentators and this week she posted a number of interesting questions on the topic of gender as appropriate to trans women.
More space than was reasonable to use on YT was required and further, Yt is now heavily censoring content. So I have put answers to her questions about gender here.
Sabia began by saying ‘Femininity can be described as cultural beauty practices.’
I agree with that to an extent. The performance of beauty is a major part of the performance of femininity and as we know, a woman is a person of feminine gender. But Gender itself goes deeper. Why do women have prominent breasts, big buttocks and facial neoteny? And why are men hirsute, have deep voices and beards? Why don’t women have facial hair? Other primates do.
The answer is that the foundation of gender is innate and biological. Gender is a system for attracting mates and the fundamentals are evolved. Our attraction to those fundamentals is also evolved. The practise of beauty builds on these bases to make them more attractive.
She says: ‘it doesn’t make sense (for a man to) be attracted to a hairless super-skinny woman because she would not be fertile.’
This is an old question and the answer, according to some, is that what men seek in a partner is youthfulness. This is because the first child to a woman is the most likely to survive and his children with her will not have to compete for her attention and care with previous ones. So men are hardwired to find girls in the mid teens attractive; and coincidentally, this is when they are most fertile.
‘So what is feminine gender outside of cultural norms?’
The underlying, evolved, physical and morphological differences. Basically we supercharge what nature has given us. Because women primarily attract and select, they spend more effort in performing gender, i.e. in beauty, than men do.
‘I have a lot of gay friends who have more ‘feminine gender’ than my lesbian friends’
Yes. This is because of Innate Sexual Inversion. Gay males have female sexuality and lesbians have male sexuality. Since Gender is a direct function of sexuality, the former are shifted towards a feminine gender and the latter towards a masculine one. This is because gender is the set of signals we use to attract appropriate mates.
She then says ‘(my gay male friends) are still without question men, right?’
No, not right. They are something else, ‘not-men’. The easiest way to explain this is to use a different understanding of gender. In most of the world, gender is defined as ‘men’ and ‘not-men’. The first group is of masculine adult men and the second of everyone else; primarily women, but also homosexual males and children. In order to be a man, in this understanding, you have to be masculine and pass the tests that are required by the culture. This is why there are ‘rites of passage’. They determine a boy’s suitability to become a member of the ‘men’ group.
Notice that before he does so, he is a ‘not-man’ which means he is available as a sexual partner for men. This is how men in these cultures can have sex with boys and consider themselves heterosexual. They see homosexuality in males as being between two men, but not between a man and a boy, because the latter is a ‘not-man’. Of course, this only applies when the man is penetrating; if he becomes the penetrated, he instantly loses all his privileges and becomes a ‘not-man’ himself.
Modern Western gender concepts are a recent invention
The modern Western conventions surrounding gender and homosexuality are very new. Prior to the late 19th century they did not apply at all and the system described above was in place. English men, until the 18th century, commonly took boys as lovers. Several of Shakespeare’s Sonnets were written to a boy and King James lV and l was famous for his delight in them. He was not alone at all, either. These practices were global.
When homosexuality became a thing in the modern sense, at first it followed established patterns: homosexual males were highly feminised. However, a German activist called Benedict Friedlaender, re-interpreting Plato, invented a strongly masculinist version. This was basically pederasty, which Friedlander supported. His ideas were behind the establishment of the Hitler Youth, a meat locker of boys for the use of the German officer class; and of course when the boys became adult, they took boys as lovers too.
Friedlaender’s ideas were brought to the USA after WW2 when Germany was in ruins and so permeated the Academy. During the 1960s there was a turf war between traditional homosexuals, who were often cross dressers, and the masculinists. The latter prevailed such that by 2000, even in the UK, they were completely dominant.
This was not the end of the story, as subsequently we began to see the rise of transsexual women. These are not the Jenner or Turr type, they are always highly feminine, homosexual boys. Despite huge efforts by masculinist gays and society, who did every thing they could to ensure that these boys transitioned into gay ‘men’, the arrival of the Internet and particularly social media swung the pendulum back. Many people now wonder if the Friedlaender type ‘egalitarian’ homosexual and lesbian can survive; many others, e.g. me, will be happy to see them become a disappearing dot on the cultural horizon.
‘A lot of what we call feminine is cultural’
Absolutely true, but the foundations are in biology. Women still look like women, even in tribes where they wear no clothes.
‘Shaving: pubes and armpit hair.’
Shaving has been a part of the Western cultural tradition at least since Mesopotamian days, Ancient Egyptian women did it, as did Greeks and Romans. It is not a modern invention. Most men find hirsuteness repulsive, because they associate it with masculinity. This is probably why women shave: women are the attractors and the gatekeepers to sex. The common feminist nonsense that it is ‘forced on women by the patriarchy’ is utter claptrap.
One reason, apart from the appearance of youthfulness, that women might have begun shaving is competition, not from other women, but from boys. In traditional cultures, girls’ virginity is protected but boys’ is not. Therefore boys are sexual targets and the cultures, as above, do not prevent men from having sex with them.
If a man has spent a couple of decades cheerfully filling his boots with comely boys, as above, he might take a bit of persuading to give all that up and settle down to his social responsibilities as a father and provider. Sowing one’s wild oats was not done with women, but with boys. So they were women’s competitors in the sexual marketplace.
Gender is a function of sexuality.
How you present depends on whom you want to attract. Most contemporary ‘gender theory’ is just bunk. It depends on academic proofs, which are no proof at all. In fact, feminine gender is what you need to perform in order to attract a masculine man. It should be obvious that if you are a male with Sexual Inversion and you also want to attract a masculine man, then you’ll do the same (opposite for lesbians). So homosexual males are naturally feminine and those who try to suppress this will feel gender dysphoria. Like does not attract like, other than in the crackpot ivory towers of USican Humanities Departments, which surely are the real ‘mother lode of bad ideas’.
If an HSTS is living as a gay ‘man’ is he feminine or masculine gender?
Well firstly, HSTS means ‘homosexual transsexual’ and it only applies after the fact. A male has to be living as a woman, in order to qualify. A homosexual male in denial, who is pretending to be a man, is not HSTS. Whether or not he is masculine, more or less, depends on his tolerance for the Gender Dysphoria he will feel and the social pressure on him.
Here in Asia there’s no real pressure on a homosexual male to perform masculinity. She is obviously a ‘not-man’ which is largely equivalent to being a woman anyway. Outside a few westernised families, this person will either be a femboy or a ladyboy (in the Western sense, a trans woman). Most just go with the flow and hit the hormones.
‘I assume you just never go down on pussy any more.’
Well if my partner is a woman, of course I would. it’s a perfectly normal part of sex and most women enjoy it. If she is an intact HSTS then it depends on her. Some girls are strictly Avoidant, that is, they won’t allow contact with their penises at all. Others enjoy it. In practice it depends on the level of trust.
You have to understand that it is crucial for an HSTS to be sure that her partner is NOT GAY. If she finds out he is, she’ll dump him. There are a few exceptions but they’re rare. Certainly, the more feminine girls are very picky about this. So they won’t allow men to give them oral sex on their penises, unless they really trust the guy.
Personally I don’t mind; if she likes it, why not? It’s a girl penis anyway, so no biggy. (Avoid smokers. Their cum tastes like ashtrays, yuck.) Most, however, refuse.
Anilingus is another matter altogether and if a man wants his ladyboy climbing up the walls, that’s how to do it, insertion of the tongue and maybe a finger or two. Just massage the opening and a little inside and you won’t wait long. They love it. Asian girls are incredibly clean and this does not present a problem.
(I would never perform this act on a Western girl, unless I were convinced she followed Asian standards of hygiene.)
‘it’s about being submissive and subservient to men.’
Well actually they can be bossy little bitches! But they do understand the proper relationship of men to women, especially in bed. Men dominate them and they love it.
If I were able to, then maybe I should pull up stakes from the US and see about what I can do to relocate to the Philippines or Thailand? Keeping in mind that they’re not nearly as developed as we are over here, but the more I hear about these countries, the friendlier the people seem, the food is good, the cost of living not quite so high, and the likelihood of me finding a mate I can be happy with is somewhat higher than it is in America (keeping in mind I’m far from wealthy). But the question begs to be asked, is it true how the man ends up being the ultimate beast of burden in those societies, taking care of and financially supporting everybody in his extended family but himself? Or does it depend on the country you’re in?
South East Asia is pretty well developed TBH. it’s not sub Saharan Africa. The infrastructure is good, generally and pretty much anything you would get in the West you can find here. There is a problem with inflation but that also depresses the currencies so it’s probably a balance. However it’s not the USA or Britain either. When you marry a girl, which effectively means ‘ if you fuck one who’s not a sex worker’ then you become part of the family. This is a collective. They will support you but you must support them. Further it is a collective centred on women, specifically mothers, not men. Ladyboys, like women, are ‘not-men’ but they cannot access the status that women can, because they can’t have babies (though a perhaps surprising number adopt). This actually puts them under more pressure. My advice is to settle an allowance for your gf and tell her that’s it no extras, but she can do what she wants with it (eg, give it to her ma.) You cannot avoid this. You will be moving into a culture that looks much like what you’re used to but isn’t. Think Appalachia in the 40s or Scotland, Ireland, Italy. Families here are intensely closed and interconnected. Individuals exist within a family/clan context. Being individualistic is fine but it really is ‘one for all, all for one.” It might be a culture shock but you cannot have the huge benefits in loyalty, love, teamwork and belonging without paying the dues. Everyone here thinks of others before themselves. We have to relearn that, but when you dobyou realise how beautiful and how right it is, and just how ugly and wrong the West has become.
South East Asia is pretty well developed TBH. it’s not sub Saharan Africa. The infrastructure is good, generally and pretty much anything you would get in the West you can find here. There is a problem with inflation but that also depresses the currencies so it’s probably a balance. However it’s not the USA or Britain either. When you marry a girl, which effectively means ‘ if you fuck one who’s not a sex worker’ then you become part of the family. This is a collective. They will support you but you must support them. Further it is a collective centred on women, specifically mothers, not men. Ladyboys, like women, are ‘not-men’ but they cannot access the status that women can, because they can’t have babies (though a perhaps surprising number adopt). This actually puts them under more pressure. My advice is to settle an allowance for your gf and tell her that’s it no extras, but she can do what she wants with it (eg, give it to her ma.) You cannot avoid this. You will be moving into a culture that looks much like what you’re used to but isn’t. Think Appalachia in the 40s or Scotland, Ireland, Italy. Families here are intensely closed and interconnected. Individuals exist within a family/clan context. Being individualistic is fine but it really is ‘one for all, all for one.” It might be a culture shock but you cannot have the huge benefits in loyalty, love, teamwork and belonging without paying the dues.
I have read your posts for a number of years and found them to be both courageous and truthful about gender and sex. This last piece is especially good at answering questions that are frequently too “delicate” or embarrassing to ask. There are so many misconceptions out there. I am 72, married with children, and have struggled with gender issues for about 30 years. I hope that future generations will be able to escape the tyranny of ideologies that currently hobbles clear thinking on matters of sex and gender. Your contributions are valuable. Keep up the good work.
Thank you!