Women should not be hairy. Not if they want to attract men, anyway. I mean feminists have fuck all chance of attracting a man anyway, so for them, who cares? But for all other women, being hairy is a real no-no; well, it is if they want a man.

I’ll admit to being averse to hairy. I find it very offputting. Once, years ago, I was dating — in between relationships, having as much fun as possible; and believe me when I tell you, a single man can have a lot of fun in Manila — when I was approached by a femboy. A short-hair bakla, that is. He suggested meeting for coffee at a place near my condo so I couldn’t refuse. Jeff, he was called.

He said he was twenty-three but looked five years younger, round-faced with glasses. He was about five foot six and very slender; short-sleeved shirt, tight jeans. Hair was floppy gay, not one of the radical styles, which helped to soften his features — though, to be honest, what he really needed was a decent shot of hormones. Despite that, he was feminine. With a bit of make-up, some hair gel and a dress he’d probably have passed. Context is important in these matters.

He was direct in his approach: ‘Can we go to your place?’ He hadn’t even touched the coffee.

I had to refuse. I just couldn’t, even trying my best to imagine him as a girl. I could not shake off the horror that he might possibly have hairy legs and a surreptitious glance at his ankles — he was wearing sandals — seemed to confirm that. Yeek!

First impressions really count; this one was ‘no way’. I mean, what if it wasn’t just his legs that were hirsute? I have no objection at all to a cute hairy bush, but what if the hairiness extended around the back? There’s a place for hair, you know, and places it should not be.

very hairy — No. Just no. Fire up the damn lawnmower for fuck’s sake

Janu-hairy. Ugh.

It seems that the wealthiest, most privileged, most spoiled and loudest women in the world, USican ones, are so appallingly put on by the society that gave them everything they now have, that they have decided to create a month of protest, to be called ‘Janu-hairy’. They will stop shaving their body hair. No more depilation. Why? Because it is an unacceptable burden placed on them, apparently, by men.

Some hairy advice

I’ve had enough experience of these females over the last few years to be able to offer them some advice. First, you’re damn lucky any man would even want to look at you; so if you want fewer to, do please carry on. I realise that the nightmare death-cult of Feminism may have persuaded you that you’re not really a woman at all; that instead you are a species of man and, if men can be hirsute, then so should you. I get it, I really do.

What about Minoxidil on your face to grow you a nice thick hairy beard? Or, hang it, get on testosterone and burn out your ovaries — you don’t intend to use ’em anyway. Hell, get under the knife, have your boobs and uterus cut out, a frankenprick installed and call yourself a ‘trans man’ — and thoroughly insult all the real trans men out there.

The hairy Queen of Sheba

Male revulsion at female hirsuteness is long-standing; it is not a modern thing. King Solomon, when he was visited by the Queen of Sheba, heard that she might be a demon. So he arranged for water to be spread before the steps that led to his throne; the Queen (Sheba was her country, not her name) delicately lifted her skirt to reveal her hairy legs, to the horror of all who saw, and the confirmation of the legend. This is by no means the only ancient reference to the repulsiveness of hairy women or to shaving being important in order to maximise the difference between them and men.

‘…in ancient Egypt, Greece, and Middle Eastern countries, removing body hair was important. In fact these women removed most of their body hair, except for the eyebrows. Egyptian women removed their head hair. Having hair down under was considered uncivilized.’

Women being hairy is actually a relatively recent, European phenomenon. It was only because most early immigrants to the USA were poor Europeans that it became established there; but of course, that means it must be established everywhere, because America.

Contemporary feminism and its delusions

Contemporary feminism fundamentally believes that there are no differences between men and women; indeed, that even physical sex itself is a ‘social construct’. But there are such differences: sex and gender are real. Women exist for one purpose: to conceive, gestate, give birth to and nurture babies, just as men have but one: to impregnate them.

Gender exists to attract men and women to each other, in order to make women pregnant, so they can perform their role as mothers. Smooth skin versus hairy skin are important gender indicators, feminine and masculine respectively.

No hair = feminine, hair = masculine. This is a trans woman. Not a single body hair to be seen.

We evolved a whole structure of social roles that maximise the potential for this arrangement to be successful and produce and nurture as many healthy young as possible. It’s likely this structure that saw off the Neanderthals, whom we know did not protect their women as modern humans do.

Modern feminism, which is just Communism with blue hair, no dress sense and a foul mouth, has persuaded women that they are not really women at all and so can dispense with all that messy, inconvenient childbearing nonsense and be men instead. So why not be as hairy as men?

How long do you think that can last? You really think, in your scandalous narcissism and ego-mania, that you can buck Evolution? Did it never occur to you that men might just decide to fuck nice cute non-hairy boys instead? Like they have done in dozens of civilisations for millennia?

And what about transwomen — how long do you think you can stop men just saying, ‘Fuck it, I’ll ignore the dick, at least she doesn’t have ape-swatches down to her navel’? In case you hadn’t noticed, for your perennial perusal of your own hairy vagina, this is happening already.

But hell, just be hairy anyway

So please, go on, girls, forget shaving your legs. Why would any man want to be looking at a fat, blue-haired, entitled loudmouth whose resemblance to a woman is only taxonomic anyway? Feel free: make yourselves even more repulsive than you already are. It’s your right to be ugly as Auld Nick — and boy, are you succeeding. After all, if you stop having children, then, with a bit of luck, your type will die out and the rest of us can get back to being normal.

But don’t blame men when you are old and alone, starving in your garret on food stamps or the weekly dole, with only your cats for company. Dream instead of the grandmothers all over southeast Asia, their lives suffused with love and light, revered matriarchs, surrounded by the generations that they created — because they did not forget what they are, and the evolutionary role they play, in their jealousy and envy for the imagined ‘privileges’ of men. They know that women are privileged by this social system, not men, and they are not about to give it up.